The Dirty Truth About Self-Love: It Can Be a Fickle Bitch

Learn How to Cope With its Ups and Dows or You’re Screwed

Frustrated guy.
Photo by Ryan Snaadt on Unsplash

If you’re counting on self-love to rescue you from your own insecurities, you’re doomed.

Self-love is so fucking crucial. I tell people all the time that our relationship with ourselves will make or break us. But just like any other relationship, that shit runs hot and cold.

It’s up to us to manage it properly so that we are not destroyed from the inside out.

What Prompted Me to Warn You About This?

I was at the gym earlier shooting hoops, which is my routine 3 of the 5 days per week that I work out. I decided to set up a camera on a tripod to film my 20 minute treks up and down the basketball court. When I watched the replay, I was annoyed and disgusted.

I looked like a chocolate panda bear sauntering up and down the court!

In case you didn’t know, I am a purebred porker; heavy than a Chevy. Fat than a cat. Big than a pig. With that being said, the full body visual of me was stunning in the camera’s brutal honesty depicting my very “girlish figure!”

It prompted a series of feelings inside me. I knew I had to share this with you.

A Strong Sense of Humor is Recommended

Because we are all humans, we experience natural human emotions. One of the most constant is insecurity. I manage my insecurities by maintaining a strong sense of humor about myself. I advise you to develop that skill.

Remember when I called myself a chocolate panda bear and a porker? Those were examples of my typical sense of humor. Many people have accused me of being mean to myself, which is ridiculous. I have a substantial level of self-esteem and self-assurance, but I’m not clueless to the reality of my ginormous physique.

It’s my dirty truth.

Remember, if the “insults’’ that people throw at you don’t define you, why get worked up about them? If you allow that BS to define you, then it will confine you. I’m pissed about my weight, but it doesn’t define me. And when I make jokes about it, I feel empowered because I’m the one “driving” the joke, rather than being at the mercy of it.

This needs to be your approach in similar situations.

Use Your Insecure Moments as Fuel For Growth

Have you ever been in a relationship with another person, and even when it’s a good or great relationship, there are still moments and days when it feels like a shitshow?

I definitely have.

That’s what happens even when we have a great relationship with ourselves. Most of the time, I’m so happy and optimistic and positive about my life. I know that I have a lot of growing to do mentally, but I am typically high on my own uniqueness.

But despite all that, I started thinking of myself in negative terms today all because of a video that proves that I can’t put the damn cookie down!

When you’re in a similar situation, use that temporary self-loathing to humble yourself, but to also learn. Let those emotions fuel your understanding and mindfulness of how incredible you are no matter what your insecurity is. In my case, I was able to think about the fact that I was fulfilling my daily physical activity (which is a positive) when the annoying video was filmed.

In the midst of my mental disappointment in the video, I was also being successful with my daily commitment.

Make it a point to point out your great attributes, while you’re lamenting your less than stellar ones.

In Closing

Always keep in mind that none of us can maintain flawless self-love 100% of the time. It’s a moving target that we have to sometimes chase down. When we learn how to manage our up and down emotions, the lows will become easier to deal with.

You might even make a joke about that shit.

Personal Development Writer | Deante Unlimited podcast, Host | Deante: Under Construction web series, Star | Deante Young Enterprises, Chief Creative Architect

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