The way I see it, self confidence and self esteem are both cool things to have, but they come and go. Wanna know what is always there?
That’s right. Your self worth is always with you even if you feel like a garbage bag worthy of the worst possible situations. Your awareness of it is what fluctuates. Many of us look at people of means, meaning rich and wealthy, or whoever has more material things than us as being special or exclusive. What I have come to realize is that self worth is more important than net worth.
One of the most recent examples of this is Kobe Bryant. I was one of millions of people around the world who was devastated by his sudden demise in January, along with his 13-year old daughter and seven others. What struck me so much was the fact that the vast majority of people mourned him for all of the amazing things that he did in his career and life.
There were constant appraisals of his basketball prowess, relentless work ethic and intensity, achievements in professional sports and the life that he was building in retirement. That life included books, coaching and mentorship to young NBA players; not to mention a media empire that was poised to create a wealth of content in the years to come.
He was hailed as a strong and credible advocate for women’s basketball and had begun outwardly championing the WNBA and women’s college basketball. His daughter was his number one focus in building her up to eventually become a star in the game.
Nowhere in all of that post mortem praise for Kobe was there any mention of him losing out on a gigantic net worth that ranks into the $400 million range. Nothing about the sprawling estate in an elite section of Los Angeles, his expensive vehicles or anything materialistic.
There was endless talk of his development into a “girl dad,” a man blessed with four beautiful daughters and a wife of close to 20 years. In the end, his self worth, meaning the things that mattered the most, yet cost nothing were the most important. Nobody gave a fuck about the material shit.
The lesson in that is profound.
Personally, I had struggled mightily with being aware of my self worth for much of my early years. That consisted of the impact that I have made upon people that I’ve met and the world as a whole.
The people that love me, whether they be my mom or my daughter, friends or acquaintances. It is also my singular gifts that I share with people. My ability to make people laugh, educate them, lift them up and provide empathy.
Talents that I possess. The ability to make people feel good about themselves. Connecting with people. Anything that I help people to understand or believe in, those are all examples of my self worth.
All of us possess it. It never leaves us. And as the Kobe situation proved, it is far more valuable than our net worth. It is absolutely irreplaceable.
So my advice to you is to focus on what you contribute to the people in your life, and the people that pass through your orbit. It is where your true value lives.